Say It Ain't So, Papi by Jared Carrabis
A nightmare come true in Red Sox Nation


I never thought I'd have to cover this story, but here it is.

When Alex Rodriguez was named as one of the 104 names who tested positive for steroids in 2003, I didn't mock him. I was asked several times if I believed David Ortiz could possibly be named on that 2003 list; I wouldn't answer. When Manny Ramirez was suspended for 50 games for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs, I didn't rub it in. I work at Sully's Tees, who printed a shirt that reads "Manny Being Suspended", complete with a a syringe. Even though I could get the shirt for free, I wouldn't wear it. Again, I was asked, "Do you think Ortiz ever used steroids?" Again, I wouldn't answer.

Thursday was a day that, as a fan, I have feared for a long time. Why? Because deep down, I knew the truth. When the most hated man in pinstripes was named as a steroid user publicly, I did not take that time to bash him.

In fact, I said things like, "I always thought A-Rod was a pure talent. However, it seems as if though I am sadly mistaken" and "Although A-Rod is a member of our most hated rivals, file Saturday February 7, 2009 under a sad day for baseball." I said this for one simple reason: I love the game of baseball. I will support my team through thick and thin, but it hurts me even to see names that belong to the New York Yankees, especially a name as talented as A-Rod's, to be linked to performance enhancing drugs. So, you can only imagine the pain that I felt in my heart when I had first gotten word about David Ortiz's name appearing in a report posted by The New York Times.

I'm not here to make excuses for David, and neither is Ortiz himself. After winning the game for his team with a three-run homer in Boston's three-run victory, Ortiz released a statement in light of the report:

"I want to talk about this situation and I will as soon as I have more answers," said Ortiz. "In the meantime I want to let you know how I am approaching this situation. One, I have already contacted the Players Association to confirm if this report is true. I have just been told that the report is true. Based on the way I have lived my life, I am surprised to learn I tested positive. Two, I will find out what I tested positive for. And, three, based on whatever I learn, I will share this information with my club and the public. You know me - I will not hide and I will not make excuses."

It breaks my heart to think that the fans of our beloved game will look at our 2004 and 2007 World Series Championships as "tainted." In my opinion, if you release the names of the remaining one hundred or so players on that 2003 list, you can slap a "tainted" sticker on the last fifteen or so World Series titles.

I think fans these days are smart enough to know that baseball had a problem, a big problem. Sure, the names that have been released have all been big name sluggers (aside from Roger Clemens), but does anyone take into consideration that the pitchers that these sluggers were hitting tape measure shots off of were on the juice too? Again, I'm not making excuses, but we all have to take into account of the era that we all watched the game of baseball being played in over the past few seasons.

As I've said before, I'm a fan of the game of baseball before anything else. I'm getting tired of having to write about stories like these. We can't change the past, but there will come a day in the game of baseball where the word "steroid" is a distant memory.

I can't speak for every Red Sox fan out there, but I can assure you that the way I look at David Ortiz will not alter. I will still support him, cheer for him and pay to watch him play. I will still remember him for everything he has done to transform the Red Sox from a team who's clubhouse was so dysfunctional it could have been a reality TV show on VH1, to a clubhouse and an organization that the game's stars were lining up to play.

I won't sit here and tell you that it's OK because "everyone did it", because that's BS. The only one that can put something into your body is you. He made his decision and unfortunately, a dark cloud will forever loom over the two most significant moments in the history of the franchise. I'm disappointed and I'm frustrated that this dark cloud over the game that I love continues to block out the sun just when it seems like things have gotten back to normal within the game.

And for all of you fans out there who support teams other than the Red Sox, allow me to share one of my favorite quotes by Bob Marley before you go giving a Sox fan a hard time:

"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be, but before you start pointing fingers...make sure your hands are clean."

In other words, give Red Sox fans a hard time all you want right now, but one day, the rest of those names will be revealed, and you won't be doing much talking then, will you?

-Jared Carrabis

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Published on July 31, 2009

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